Tired

I'm tired. Tired of defending my self against people, I'm not a peace dove, and i hate all those people who snicker when i profess the inherent goodness of the human soul. War is not a solution, it never was. Its become difficult defending your view point when India's most beloved city is under attack. It wasn't a bomb blast and it wasn't a few hoodlums shooting it out, it was as if we had be all shifted to Beirut (Lebanon) or Jaffna (Sri Lanka) we were at war, all of a sudden and out of no where. We were struggling to keep our jobs, we were worried about the stock exchange falling and we were worried that the global recession might take chunks out of the Indian economy, we never thought that we would have a war at our doorsteps when we woke up in the morning.

What riles me even more is the sheer waste of human life. The victims as well as the terrorist, so much human potential lost down the drain. emotions boiled when the media broadcast the images it was horrifying.The entire nation jolted in our seats every time a blast went off. The attack was so bold and dramatic in conception that it went on and on and on. As we looked on in horrified silence and the world stared with its mouth agape, we kept repeating to our self that it was a dream, it shouldn't and cant happen to a tolerant and Democratic country like India. Now half the country is still in shock and the other half wants war.

The Question i cant find an answer to is war with whom, where is the proof and if we go and attack the said city or country what difference does it make, wont this just prompt another attack, let alone a debilitating and a crippling war. I don't want to or cant blame our leaders, we choose them so i presume they are doing exactly what we want them to do. I wont question the intelligence agencies and the security forces the NSG, MarCos and the Bombay Police did an exceptional job. No matter what any one else says i say they went beyond and over the call of duty to put an end to this attack. charging into a building when you know that on the other side are people armed with guns and ready to shoot using humans as shields and ready to die. It takes a lot of courage to shoot some one, it takes even more courage walking into a room with a maniac with a automatic rifle who doesn't care if he lives or dies.

When it comes to our intelligence agencies, they receive more than 1000+ threats a day for cities like Bombay and Delhi they have to wade through all the nut jobs who called in a bomb threat because they didn't want to go to work that day or didn't want to miss a flight to find the real threat. it some times becomes impossible and shit, unimaginable shit happens. The intelligence agencies have to be lucky every time, but the terrorist have to be lucky only once.

Some of the best memories of the darkest period of my life were spent on the road in front of the Taj heritage wing, sitting on the wall facing out to the sea spray with my best friend. I will never be able to walk that road with the same carefree attitude, the scars of the attack and the ghost of the dead will not let us rest as a country until we find a permanent solution to this. So many dead so many families broken. Life is never going to be the same.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

:(
I really dont know what to do ...
the world seems to be getting more insane everyday !
The crazy thing about this is .. it is crazy ...totally devoid of logic and rationality .. a poisoned psychology cannot be cured in a few sessions ... dialogue is futile .. and when scores of brains have been poisoned like that ... the situation is bound to assume dangerous proportions such as this!
One feels so utterly helpless! ..

However,it seems to me, that there has been some gross intelligence failure .. or failure to implement on the very specific leads/ information that they had ... India has truly been caught napping!
.. i mean, the scale of the damage shud not have been such .. n once again, the ultimate victory is that of the footsoldiers .. those who have left behind bereaving families , who now look towards an uncertain, unfortunate future (dont we have a record of paying back our martyrs dismally .. wat became of our slain martyrs in the parliament attack??) .. :-/

But of course .. war is NOt the solution! .. terrorist psychology is not located today in x,y,z points on the world map .. in different forms.. it lies manifest, n latent .. in varying degrees of lethality! ...
And history (which been written in red ink by US of A .. ) has nurtured such mentality .. such aspirations and instincts ... over years n years ...! ..
Somewhere .. in our own small ways, we all add to the mess ... there shud be a way out .. there HAS to be one! ..
Note: u will be SHOCKED to learn .. how many ppl (we- the innocent, poor, commoners) justify brutal killings in communal riots ..saying , 'the other community deserved it.. havent we suffered worse for the past so many years'!!
But then, what is the difference between the (ir)rationale of the terrorists, who too are fighting to avenge some perceived injustice or the other .. and that of ours?
innocent blood .. shed in the wild pursuit of revenge, is terrorism.
Is terrorism. Is terrorism.
And we cant logically fight one, armed with the other- the result will be nothing but a variant of the same malaise ..

But u know what .. we can do something abt this .. we really can.. i have just typed thoughts mindlessly (n for far too long, i realise!) .. but i think one can sit down n take a coherent view of things .. there has to be some basic sense in the world...

in that faith,
God Bless!

Ron (posting anonymously henceforth).. :)

vagabond dreamer said...

Weasly: its not mindless uve put every thing i wanted to say and that too much more coherently. there is a solution and we all need to work for it. we need to be heard and seen doing want we believe in our version of democracy has to become more direct from its current indirect form. people need to heard. the voice of the people has to come first.
dont mind how u post as long as you sign it.

New guy said...

Agree Vag D. Life will never be the same for many, especially those who have fond or terrifying memories associated with the Taj or the the attack.

vagabond dreamer said...

you are right comrade. but i swore one thing that day, never to be afraid again, its fear they feed on. when there is no fear there will be no more terror.