Ok I was recently talking to a friend of mine about relationships and related stuff and it set me thinking. There was the usual progression, I suppose, Hopeless first love, this and that over the years, unrequited mad crushes. OK well hopeless first love was when i was thirteen, she was a classmate of mine but i was a clumsy, introverted oaf, more adept at football, and scurrying around on the basketball court than telling her how I felt about her. Well i kept staring at her for the next four years and well never told her how i felt. Don't get me wrong, i mean my best friend was a girl, heck my frist friend was a girl, she was my Godfather's daughter and we talked about every thing but when it came to my "hopeless first love" i was born dumb and mute. her name was Surabhi.
We made it to the Tenth standard some how, we studied together, we as in my best friend and me, her name was Sarah. We played on the band together, we played mixed doubles on the badminton squad, and some where along the way we noticed that we were indispensable to each other. When we were in play school we went to a "Fancy Dress party", dressed as a North Indian Bride and Groom. We protected each other from every thing and for some reason we were together all the time, one thing lead to another and we were a couple, it was the most amazing year, I guess, for the first time I understood the chemistry between my parents. we slogged together we were at each others games we practised Dr. Zhivago and Nanha Munna Rahi Hun with each other and she taught me civics and economics i taught her science and my sister taught us both math. We were young and curious and we were eager too, one thing lead to another and we both blamed ourselves for what happened next and stopped talking to each other. I left on an infamous holiday with my friends and she left town when her dad got transfered and then i took a dive of a cliff or half way up off a cliff which ever way you want to see it. it took us two years of recovery and guilt to realise it wasn't such a bad deal and by then she was in love with another childhood friend and as these things go I was the best man at her wedding. that was "you are the most idiotic person on the planet to let her go love". She is top notch geneticist and I had the honor of being her daughters Godfather.
Two years of high school went by uneventfull Sarah had left but there were others most notably Surabhi and a few others. we were busy charting our careers and i was busy playing "boys code of honor" and still never told her that i liked her because my friend liked her and we three spent some memorable times together. life went on exams came and went and we went our separate ways. graduation was not much difference, except there were friends i had known all my life and i could trust with my eyes closed and we blew into the small college like an tornado, we could do nothing wrong and if some thing did go wrong it was some else's fault, always. There, literally I ran into a tall shy Amazon. 5'11" to my 5'6" and a face that could could be rated at a 100 milli Helens and a confidence that could be found with a micro scope. we were a sight to see, life was funny for a time and we grew into better friends and more comfortable with each other. I would like to believe the college and our company had a good effect, as she bloomed into the girl she could be confident, lively and mischievous but there was this evil witch and u know how things go in nightmares. well it wasn't that bad but we drifted apart she was "this" and her name was Ritu.
"That" was Ankita smart inteligent and I fought with her on the first day of college, and in the final year we started talking and we became close. we spent many hours cuddled up on my sofa or hers, watching all the girly movies she picked. oh and she came from a very conservative Jain family s you can guess how that ended, i had places to go and things to do and she could never tell her parents that she was serious about what was going on, waht happened in college stayed in college and never came back to bite you. she looked real pretty at her wedding too.
There was Vandana in the middle some where of all that she is still a good friend but the entire time we went out for all of three months, every time i took my bike out for long rides or went climbing she would drive my mom and my friends up the wall worrying about me, or she would be on the ground shouting be carefull every ten minutes while i had more important things to do hanging off a cliff, for some reason that lasted three months only. I wonder why ? umm oh i guess it was better for her blood pressure and every one else's sanity, oh she and my best friend from school now and army captain make a good looking couple too.
Then there was the "unrequited mad crushes" first day of PG orientation, we had a difference of opinion, well it was mostly that she formed one, an opinion that is, before she knew someone and passed a judgment and I had an opinion about such people we lasted well about six months , when work load and creepy friends and family traditions proved too much and that was that. she is a friend and with Sarah a peg against which all prospectives are measured and well that should tell you some thing. Her name was Sakshi
The "Disaster" was named Siji, friends we had been friends for ages and some how things seemed to go right for us, the night before her birthday i had a big accident. i called her dutifully and wished her and drowned my self in a ton of pain killers, at three in the night when the meds started wearing off my phone had 23 missed calls, from her. she said there was some thing wrong and I wasnt telling her, and she was so worried she couldnt sleep, this when she was in a altogether different city at that time. We shared some thing, two years down the line my life started going to peices and in the middle of all that she called me and told me that she was worried my spinal injury would affect our relationship in the future and that was the end of that. that was the "Disaster".
Then there were the summer romances, and as some one said "Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone." and so it was the same with me they were blooms of splashing color when my life was Grey they were fireworks on moonless nights and they were women of exceptional talents, they arrived when life was missing some thing they gave life color and moved on or stayed back as friends and but they made a difference to who i am, there was oh and all of them were doctors, one a Doctorate student and two medical Doctors one a student of my Aunt in Bombay and the other a Russian educated but a dear friend. that was Surabhi, Arpita and Megha.
I don't know why i wrote all this, but it does bring back memories some good some bitter most of them where gorgeous bursts of color, and so here it is. These women made me who i am today and except for one all have been and are good friends, they helped me make myself today what i am. they all gone on to do or are doing what they were meant to do, as i said they were the people who filled color into the outlines of my life. some drew in pastel shades and some in splashy hurting colors, but well on wards beyond to life at its best.'
P.S. since every one wonders thats my story over the last 15 years. oh and they were not crushes or infatuations, they would take a life time and some more to recount.
This ancient pagan fertility celebration, which honored Juno, queen of the Roman gods and goddesses and goddess of women and marriage, was held on Feb 14th, the day before the feast began. During festival time, women would write love letters, also known as billets, and leave them in a large urn. The men of Rome would then draw a note from the urn and ardently pursue the woman who wrote the message they had chosen.
Apparently, the custom of lottery drawings to select valentines continued into the 18th century, coming to an end when people decided they'd rather choose (sight seen!) their valentines.
The Birds and the Bees?
In the Middle Ages, people began to send love letters on Valentine's Day. Medieval Europeans believed that birds began to mate on Feb. 14.
Saint Valentine
There's also some controversy regarding Saint Valentine, for whom the famous day is named. Archaeologists, who unearthed a Roman catacomb and an ancient church dedicated to St. Valentine, are not sure if there was one Valentine or more! Today, the Catholic Church recognises at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred on Feb 14th, (at least two of those in Italy during the 3rd century.)
The most popular candidate for St. Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest who practised Christianity and performed secret marriages against direct orders from Emperor Claudius II, who believed single soldiers were more likely to join his army. Legend has it that Valentine sent a friend (the jailer's daughter) a note signed "From Your Valentine" before he was executed on Feb. 14 in 270 A.D. That phrase is still used prominently on today's cards!
Early Christians were happier with the idea of a holiday honouring the saint of romantic causes than with one recognising a pagan festival. In 496 A.D., Pope Gelasius named Feb 14th in honour of St. Valentine as the patron saint of lovers. In 1969, Pope Paul VI dropped it from the calendar. However, the blend of Roman festival and Christian martyrdom had caught on and Valentine's Day was here to stay!
Verbal and singing valentines began to be replaced by written missives in Europe in the 15th century. The first written valentine is usually attributed to the imprisoned Charles, Duke of Orleans, in 1415. He reportedly passed the time by writing romantic verses for his wife. By the 16th century, written valentines were commonplace.
Valentine's cards
Early valentines were made by hand, using coloured paper, watercolours and coloured inks. These valentine styles, some still made today, included:
i) Pinprick valentines, made by pricking tiny holes in paper with a pin to resemble the look of lace
ii) Cutout valentines, lace-look cards made by folding paper several times and cutting out a lace design with small, sharp scissors.
iii) Acrostic valentines, which had verses in which the first letters in the lines spelled out the beloved's name
iv) Rebus valentines, verses in which small pictures took the place of some of the words (For example, an 'eye' instead of 'I')
Cards decorated with black and white pictures painted by factory workers began to be created in the early 1800s. By the end of the century, valentines were being made entirely by machine. Sociologists theorise that printed cards began to take the place of letters, particularly in Great Britain, because they were an easy way for people to express their feelings in a time when direct expression of emotions was not fashionable.
Manufactured cards notwithstanding, increasingly beautiful handmade Valentines were often small works of art, richly decorated with silk, satin or lace, flowers or feathers and even gold leaf. And many featured Cupid, the cherubic, be-winged son of Venus, and a natural Valentine's Day "mascot."
Some of the more unusual valentines were created by lonely sailors during the Victorian era, they used seashells of various sizes to create hearts, flowers and other designs or to cover heart-shaped boxes.
The Heart
It's not difficult to figure out the connection between the heart and Valentine's Day. The heart, after all, was thought in ancient times to be the source of all emotions. It later came to be associated only with the emotion of love. (Today, we know that the heart is, basically, the pump that keeps blood flowing through our bodies!)
It's not clear when the valentine heart shape became the symbol for the heart (we all know the heart isn't really shaped like that). Some scholars speculate that the heart symbol as we use it to signify romance or love came from early attempts by people to draw an organ they'd never seen.
Other symbols of love
i) Red roses were said to be the favourite flower of Venus, the Roman goddess of love; also, red is a colour that signifies strong feelings.
ii) Lace has long been used to make women's handkerchiefs. Hundreds of years ago, if a woman dropped her handkerchief, a man might pick it up for her. Sometimes, if she had her eye on the right man, a woman might intentionally drop her handkerchief to encourage him. So, people began to think of romance when they thought of lace.
iii) Love knots have series of winding and interlacing loops with no beginning and no end. A symbol of everlasting love, love knots were made from ribbon or drawn on paper.
iv) Lovebirds, colourful birds found in Africa, are so named because they sit closely together in pairs, like sweethearts do! Doves are symbols of loyalty and love, because they mate for life and share the care of their babies.
X - the kiss
How about the "X" sign representing the kiss? This tradition started with the Medieval practice of allowing those who could not write to sign documents with an "X". This was done before witnesses, and the signer placed a kiss upon the "X" to show sincerity. This is how the kiss came to be synonymous with the letter "X", and how the "X" came to be commonly used at the end of letters as kiss symbols. (Some believed "X" was chosen as a variation on the cross symbol, while others believe it might have been a pledge in the name of Christ, since the "X" or Chi symbol, is the second letter of the Greek alphabet and has been used in church history to represent Christ.)
It became easier to mail valentines in the mid 1800s, when the modern postal service implemented the penny post. Until then, postage was so pricey that most cards were delivered by hand.
Traditions
A variety of interesting Valentine's Day traditions developed over time. For example, hundreds of years ago in England, children dressed up as adults on Valentine's Day and went singing holiday verses from door to door.
In Wales, wooden love spoons, carved with key, keyhole and heart designs, were given as gifts.
The gift of flowers on Valentine's Day (along with Mother's Day, the busiest floral holiday of the year) probably dates to the early 1700s when Charles II of Sweden brought the Persian poetical art called "the language of flowers" to Europe. The rose, representing love, is probably the only flower with a meaning that is universally understood. The red rose remains the most popular flower bought by men for their sweethearts. In more recent years, people have sent their sweethearts their favourite flowers, rather than automatically opting for roses. Also making the list of valentine favourites are tulips, lilies, daisies and carnations.
More gifts
Among early valentine gifts were sweets, usually chocolates, in heart-shaped boxes. Apparently, gifts of chocolates and flowers haven't replaced carefully chosen cards on Valentine's Day. The modern valentine card has become increasingly sophisticated, keeping pace with popular technological advances. For example, there are cards that let you record a romantic message, "scratch-and-sniff" cards (chocolate smells would be nice!) and cards that play romantic music.
And of course, you can send e-mail valentines. Some sites even offer free personal use of their illustrations or cards. Other technology allows you to send a romantic fax or videotape with a personal valentine message. But choose your valentine carefully, some people find fax and e-mail missives too impersonal and not private enough for this holiday of love!
Sometimes the best ideas are the simplest!
Article by Paul Denton http://www.pauldenton.co.uk
With V day coming up i thought i would do some research on it so we start here with flirting.
I saw this on another blog loved it so much that i copied it
Humans observed in a natural mating habitat exhibit nearly all the najor flirting behaviors, whether or not they're flirting at all. Here is a guide for recognizing or, for the seasoned flirts, overviewing some flirting techniques:
OPEN BODY POSITION This come-and-get-me stance suggests the man is neither about to flee nor fight.
RAISED EYEBROWS Upon first seeing a potential mate, both men and women often briefly raise their eyebrows.
HEAD CANT Women frequently tilt their head to one side, exposing their neck, and sometimes flick their hair at the same time.
SUSTAINED EYE CONTACT Men and women both hold the gaze of someone they're interested in for longer than feels quite confortable.
LEANING FORWARD Perhaps not as obviously as the enthusiastic girl above, but both genders tend to lean in toward people they're atracted to. Sometimes they'll unconsciously point to them too, even if they're across the room.
LEADING QUESTIONS A man will often ask a woman questions that allow her to show off her most atractive features.
SIDEWAYS GLANCES Often followed by a glance away or down and a shy smile, these coy looks are a classic flirting behavior for both sexes.
